She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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