Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize