I got chris browned last night
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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