He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
