So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
