I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
