and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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