She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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