There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
