you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
