i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Congratulations! We have a period
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize