Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
