btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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