I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sext me about skeletons
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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