I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
