i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
