Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Vodka?
Forever.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
