They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
