Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
