Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
