I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
