Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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