roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she smelled like a LAN party
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
a search helicopter?!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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