If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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