is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
