I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
