So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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