Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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