My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
