yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
