rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
