How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
