is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
