My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
