also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
