Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
