so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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