So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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