You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
