I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You ruined the universe
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
