the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Jerry, you need to find god
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
