If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
