It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
