my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just pee around me
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize