got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
