Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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