but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you win again, gameday.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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