there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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