used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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