Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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