she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
