We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize