I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
