is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
