Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
