i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
