I can text with my tongue
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
