plz talk dirty to me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
