She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
