so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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