I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
